


The Third Anti-Brexit 'Visit'

by Hiveshrew



Series: Out of character politics [1]
Category: Politics - Fandom
Genre: Allergies to all beer but german that ends up resulting in vomit, Crack, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of previous anti brexit visits, Other, Wildly out of character Politicians, botched german, gay if u squint, merkel is apparently buff as hell, one of the stupidest things i have ever written, swearing in botched german
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 17:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14898602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiveshrew/pseuds/Hiveshrew
Summary: wrote this out of boredom





	1. Impromptu Visit

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I don't really know what this is but i'll continue it occasionally because it's fun to write

It was a cold but pleasant day in Downing Street.

The Prime Minister, Theresa May, was opening a letter that had come moments before.

It had at last opened, and the sheet of paper inside the envelope simply said;

"Set out some beer."

Below this, it said "You'll thank me later -President Putin"

Theresa took a moment to think about what this letter meant, and then it dawned on her.

Merkel.

The German Chancellor was most likely going to make her third impromptu Anti-Brexit visit, and Putin was..

Kind enough to warn her?

"..Thanks, Putin." She muttered.

Before suddenly realising how fussy Merkel was about 'good beer'

The last time she'd attempted to give Merkel some good English beer, this was met with distaste.  
Angela had taken one look at it and deemed it 'Scheiße Beer', whatever that meant.

Theresa knew this time that she'd have to buy German beer, lest the German chancellor murder her in her sleep.

 

[One commute to Tesco later.]

 

Theresa panicked. Of course Tesco had run out of German beer!

But then, The prime minister had an idea.

Perhaps, she could take an empty bottle of the German beer, and put the (infinitely better, in her opinion)  
English beer into that!

She doubts Merkel could tell the difference, anyway.


	2. Merkel the Beer Connoisseur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merkel's here. Will Theresa's plan work?

An hour or two later, and how wrong Theresa was!

Merkel had taken one sip of the beer, and then practically thrown up.

With a shout of "Ekelhaft!" Merkel had excused herself to the bathroom to actually throw up.

 

Theresa, once Merkel had came out of the bathroom, braced herself for the worst.

To her surprise, instead of strangling her where she stood, Merkel simply produced two flasks from her pocket, hesitantly offering one towards the prime minister.

"You should try the good beer for once." The Chancellor said. "Instead of that Scheiße Beer."

Theresa shook her head, ready to say she didn't drink in work hours, when Angela put the beer flask closer to her.

"I insist."

"..I suppose one sip wouldn't kill me."

Theresa took a sip. And if she were to be honest to Merkel, she would say something along the lines of 'Absolutely disgusting'.

Of course, because the prime minister did not want to sign her own death warrant today, she decided to pretend to enjoy it.

"..And?" Merkel asks, expectantly.

"Very.. good." Theresa says, mentally slapping herself. When was she so bad at lying? She's a Conservative Politician, for heaven's sake.

"Why don't you finish that flask? I have plenty more, Prime Minister."

"..Of course, Chancellor. I will." 

The Prime Minister braced herself, before downing the flask of German Beer.

..Come to think of it, when was Beer so.. Numbing?

Theresa felt warm inside, but also numb.

Merkel certainly drank strong beer, to say the least.

The Chancellor in question was utterly unfazed by her own 'shot' of beer, and Theresa suspected that  
Merkel had gained some sort of immunity to the affects of German beer specifically.


	3. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last chapter for now but i'll probably do more

After around a half-hour of Angela Merkel insisting she have more beer, Theresa May was utterly drunk.

Utterly, stupidly, drunk.

The prime minister stumbles, before deciding it would be best to sit down so that she isn't so.. dizzy.

She's unable to shake that pleasant, warm feeling from her abdomen,  
Or that Merkel somehow isn't drunk at all, despite having more beer than her.

Come to think of it, Merkel is shifting in her seat a lot, unable to stay still.

Theresa found herself wondering what exactly went on inside the Chancellor's head a lot.

In fact, who wouldn't--

"What goes on in my head?" Merkel suddenly asked.

Is Chancellor Merkel a mind-reader, or did Theresa say that out loud?

Theresa's going to go with the first, much cooler option.

..Oh, right. Angela asked a question.

"Well, you aren't ex..Exactly easy to read, Cha-Chancellor." Theresa almost slurs.

"Oh?" Merkel seems interested. "How so, Prime Minister?"

"Well, y-you're nearly always so.." Merkel raised a brow. "..So calm, and.."

"How do you do it, Chancellor? You were with Donald Trump, and even spoke to him like.. Like a.."

The chancellor smiled.

"..A child." Theresa paused. "Oh.. I get it! You treat him like a.." Theresa looked as if she felt like the most intelligent person in the world. "Like a toddler!"

Angela nodded, still wearing that thin smile.

"Well, Ms May." Merkel suddenly stood.

"We must get you to a bed, before you end up napping on the ground." The chancellor declared.

Before Theresa could protest, Merkel scooped her up in her arms and began to head to the nearest bedroom.

 

Merkel, when she found said bedroom, set the rather tired-looking prime minister on the bed, draping her jacket over the now-sleeping Theresa May.


End file.
